Day 1

The hardest part about today is deciding whether I am actually hungry or if I am just eating out of habit. And by habit I mean, eating has become my emotional crutch. People with anorexia don't eat, in part, because they feel it is the one thing in their life they can control. Eating, for me, is kind of the same. There is so much in my life, whether at school, work or home, that I have to do or can not do that eating is the one thing that I have complete say in. I am not sure if you understand that, but in my world it is completely logical and rational. The problem comes in when that has gone as far as it has. I stopped having control over it and it now controls me. If I think about a certain food, I have to have it. I get fixated on the idea of eating it that until I do, everything else seems like a distraction. (I never realized how crazy this makes me look until I put it into words)
Thankfully, I am self aware enough to know that this behaviour(<---what am I British) is not healthy. Until I act upon that knowledge and put that knowledge into action, nothing will change. Soooo... my point:
Today, when I "feel" hungry, I have had to do some serious introspection and determine what is going on emotionally/mentally with me at that moment and decide if I am hungry, or trying to cope with [fill in the blank]. It takes more effort, just like tracking food and calories. But nothing that was ever worth anything didn't take effort, right? Right.

Here we go... it's gonna be good!